This is NOT a date

Right, girls. I’ve been having a bit of trouble with some male friends recently. I say ‘friends’, but the term ‘acquaintances’ is probably more apt, considering I’m referring to people I’ve either (A) not seen in years or (B) get along well with, but only really talk to on about the same personal level as the guy whose newsagents I pop into most mornings.

Now, a few of these creatures have emerged from the woodwork recently, suggesting we rekindle whatever sort of relationship it is we once had, or make some attempt to “see each other more often”. Being the social butterfly and all-round nice, aim-to-please kind of girl I am, I usually accept such offers of coffee/drinks/food/etc without too much thought.

So, there we are, enjoying a nice casual catch-up, when I hear a phrase that makes me wonder what the hell I signed up for. “So, no boyfriend? Why? You’re really attractive” … “Let me take you to …. next week?”

Man and woman touching wine glasses

ARGH. What? Nooo.

While I step off the “greater than thou” high horse it may sound like I was just on, let me clarify.

You can’t take me out on a date if I don’t know it’s a date. That’s trickery, deception, straight-up fraudulent behaviour.


You know why? Because then I’m the one who’s made to feel like I was leading said person on, and when I decline all subsequent meetings (or dates, or “catch-ups”… I don’t even know anymore), I feel bad because I know they’ll think they did something wrong when in reality that wasn’t the problem at all!

And as if that wasn’t bad enough, I guarantee that all future correspondence will be glazed with a nice portion of awkwardness. No fun for anyone.

I’ll stop moaning now, but here’s a word of dating advice for guys reading this:

If you don’t really know someone and you suggest “going for a drink”, it’s pretty obvious what your intentions for the meeting are. However, if it’s someone you do know, it’s got to be made very clear. It works both ways – I’m sure some of you have had similar problems with girls getting “the wrong idea”!

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