The Facebook fiasco

Pre-date stalking, finding the appropriate time to click ‘add friend’, pondering your relationship status settings, wondering if it’s OK to make that photo of you together  your profile picture… the rather sad and downright unfortunate truth is that Facebook (and other social networking sites) have become a huge part of our love lives.

I say it’s unfortunate because pre-social-media obsession, you’d live a life where what happened in the real world was just a standalone experience. Nowadays, we lead some sort of digital double life, with the main events “backed up” on a server. Where developing a relationship is concerned, this can get a bit tricky.

So you’re single, eh?

One classic problem us flirty facebookers face is that of the relationship status. Mine’s been stuck on set to single for the past three years. But I’ve been on dates and even saw the beginning of something long-term (I’ll save that story for another post) during that time.

This meant that, unless I explained the ins and outs of my dating situation, everyone would assume I was completely single, resulting in awkwardly turning down other date offers. On the other hand, if I’d rushed to display an “in a relationship” badge of honour, I’d probably have scared off Mr Potential by appearing to be Ms Too Forward. Can’t win, can you?

A good piece of dating advice is to not be too needy

The friend request

Here’s the other thing – adding dates and Facebook ‘friends’. In reality, they aren’t your friends at all, but the term seems to now umbrella an odd mix of work colleagues, love interests, nosey family members and a few actual friends.

To add or not to add? Personally, I like having anyone I’ve met three times or more on Facebook – it makes it easy to maintain contact and see where they like going and what they like doing during their downtime. If you’ve only met someone once, I’d say it was a little creepy to add them as a friend – have they even told you their surname, or has the internet guessed for you?

I know you’ve read my message…

Hands down, this feature is simultaneously my most loved and most hated thing about the social network.

You receive a message, open it (as is the normal thing to do), but wait… the person who sends it knows when you’ve read it! ARGHHH! This makes me panic – if they’ve asked a question and they see that I’m writing a response but not sending it instantly, or that I’m ‘online’ and not replying, they might think I’m avoiding the answer, or them! And if I wanted to ignore someone, for whatever reason that might be, they’ll know. But it works both ways, of course ;)

I’d be interested to hear what your take on the whole thing is: have you ever landed yourself in trouble because you had the ‘incorrect’ status? Or thought someone was weird for adding you on the f-book too soon? Share your stories below!

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6 thoughts on “The Facebook fiasco

  1. Facebook. Ahh what a concept. One thing you left out is the online chat world. Things like AOL and Yahoo chat are still around for the most part, and these online friends want to add you as well. That being said, your page is hoisted up to 200 friends none of which you have met. But your online persona now takes on a new life where your online friends actually see the “real” you. So these online friends are mixed in with your real life friends, and it becomes a smorgasbord of comments and likes and awkwardness. I have even had fights break out on some of my posts between the online friends and the real life friends. Talk about awkward! These days, I have cleaned up the list a lot and taken out a lot of the riff raff, including the ex boyfriend who found me (who now lives in florida) who is constantly changing his status from “single” to ” in a relationship” to “its complicated” another feature which sends people asking questions like, “oh I wonder what’s going on? why did they put its complicated?”. I can go on and on. But overall, I haven’t been on facebook much. My blogging activities are a lot more entertaining :)

  2. Pingback: Diva’s Dating Roundup: March | The Dating Diva

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